Life and Death

Last night my cat Sassy passed away. I've had her since I was eight years old. It was extremely sad for me, I still don't feel quite right about it. Before I was pregnant with Shea she was having some problems with chest infections and sinus problems. We had taken her to the vet and she was put on medicine but the medicine didn't work and her symptoms seemed to just get worse over time. Right around the time Shea was born she was looking pretty bad and there was nothing I could do for her since I had this brand new baby to take care of. She started hanging out in the back bathroom where it seemed like she was most comfortable. About two weeks in to Shea being home she seemed to get a little better and we thought she might make it after all. But over the past week she just slipped into a place that she wasn't going to come back from. She couldn't eat or drink anything. Yesterday she lost her ability to walk. A few hours before she died she heard my voice and tried to walk to me but I couldn't comfort her because touching her could have transferred germs and things to the baby since Sassy was no longer grooming herself. I watched her struggle for her last couple breathes and it tore me up inside. I just have a hard time understanding why something so wonderful like a baby being born happens, but my cat had to die around the same time. Its very heartbreaking.

But now she is at peace and I'll miss her.

Jay and I are still getting used to our role as new parents. We have our good and bad days. The first few weeks Shea slept very well and he had his pattern--wake up, get his diaper changed, eat and eat and eat, then he would fall into deep sleep again on his own and he slept in his bassinet just fine. But over the last two weeks he has decided he hates being put down to sleep by himself and he absolutely LOVES to be held. He will snore sitting straight up in our hands as long as he is with us haha. Then sometimes he decides that he doesn't want to sleep at all, sometimes not sleeping for 12 hours straight, like he is going to miss something or whatever it is. So that meant mommy and daddy didn't get any sleep either and wow is that rough! He also thought he needed to eat every 30 minutes to and hour, and he ate ALOT, like way more than most babies. He is a very big boy and big boys need LOTS of food. Then he developed what seemed like colic. He would scream his head off at us and we wouldn't know what to do.

But we think we finally figured all this out. For one, I had to get him on the boob to eat as much as he wanted it. Sometimes he wants to breastfeed for two hours straight. So we have been breastfeeding as much as possible and if that makes him a happier baby then I'm all for it. He was having mainly formula before because my milk supply couldn't keep up but now I think my body knows I'm producing milk for a heffalump so we're all good. He was also having terrible gas problems so we combined breastfeeding and infant gas drops and its soooooo much better. He sure does fart alot now but its better than him screaming because of an upset tummy. We also learned that wrapping him up really tight in blankets is key! At first we thought he hated blankets because he would kick them off in a matter of seconds. He has extremely strong legs and arms, and basic swaddling doesn't stand a chance. So we pulled out a crib sheet a wrapped that sucker around him about three times and now he sleeps like an angel. He also loves to curl up against people's chest in order to sleep. Its kind of like a baby monkey clinging to its mother; it's so adorable!! So now when he wakes up he is no longer fussy. He is so much fun to play with when he is awake and happy. He smiles like crazy at anyone who gets up close to him. Last night we had a few people over and everyone was surrounding him and talking to him. He just loves people in general. So far from what I can sense I think that he will be very outgoing and also very direct about what he wants. He also seems to be developing faster than other babies I have seen. He is very smart and he is learning things very quickly. Right now his fascination is with lights. He can stare at a light for an hour straight.

I am planning on taking more pictures so check back soon. Hopefully we can get him outside to take a few pictures and maybe some group photos with family. =)

So here is our baby at 5 weeks old. I could write a story right now about how our lives have been lately but unfortunately I don't have that kind of time....but I promise to write something great later on...maybe later tonight or tomorrow. He is such a miracle its unbelievable!